They Say
They say the older you get, the less sleep your body needs. As I lie awake in the pre-dawn darkness, I fight the urge to concede both my age and the reality that I will not be falling back to sleep. I hate it when they are right.
They say that age is only a number, that you’re only as old as you feel. They say that youth is a state of mind. Fairy Tales can come True, they can happen to you… when you’re young at heart.
What they don’t tell you is that some days you’ll wake up feeling like you’re 117 and you can’t stand up straight when you shuffle to the coffee pot, just the way you saw your grandma do it for all those years. They don’t tell you that later that afternoon you might be trotting along in the sunshine and forget that you are a day over 19. They don’t tell you that there’s no consistency.
The human experience is unique from other animals in our awareness of self. Dogs don’t know they’re getting old. They don’t realize they can’t jump as high or run as fast as they did last year. They have the same mindset as bumbling puppies that they do as grey-muzzled ancients.
For us, especially in developed countries with very little real struggle to face, age is an ever-present consciousness. We categorize each other by age. We shuffle each other into files, sorted according to age demographics. We have cutoffs and limitations defined by generation. In the bar, in the gym, at church… at some point we shift from the “young adult” group to the “early parenting” group (or the “singles” group for people who are neither young nor married) and then suddenly we find ourselves tottering on the brink of the “seniors” group with an assorted list of acceptable activities to choose from.
Age is only a number, so They say, but it’s one we assign particular importance to, much like our social security number or our date of birth. It’s part of our identity in this culture. It determines the cutoff for joining the military, voting, drinking, driving, getting married and almost everything else (except for some absurd reason, having children). On the other end your age buys you credits and discounts. “We can’t use you anymore but here’s a coupon for Applebees.”
They say age doesn’t limit you. But that’s not true. In recent I’ve reached out to recruiters from every branch of the military and oddly haven’t heard back… I can’t get into the early shopping hours at Costco because I’m not old enough yet (YET). When I register for a 5K or sign up for a timeshare presentation to get 5 free nights in Puerto Vallarta, they seem very interested in my age.
The things They say starkly contradict their standards and regulations. The things They say don’t play out on dating apps or when you find yourself at a Cancun nightclub with your 18 year old daughter. Age isn’t just a number. It’s a thing. Age is a measure of time - and time is the most valuable currency any of us will every possess. It carries the weight of experience - good or bad. It’s a scoreboard that calls out how many innings you’ve been in the game. Age is the standard that wisdom is held up against. It’s a tool to measure how well you’ve learned and grown from the curveballs life has thrown at you.
If you’re as old as me and you’re still wearing that outfit inspired by Brittney Spear’s Hit Me Baby video, it’s a sign that you aren’t tracking. Alternately, if you’re as old as me and you’re wearing Dad Shoes and a monochrome jogging suit, you might be even worse off. Age gives us context. It’s the bumpers at the bowling alley of life that gently push us back into the lane where our bodies and minds and fashion sense can flourish.
They say age shouldn’t matter. I would contend that it does and it should. It just shouldn’t be an excuse to be lame.